Tsunari (tsunarikitsune) wrote,

Heh, been forever since I've posted here.

Now i'm getting depressed and need a place to vent some.  now that someone has commited assault by whatever it's called when someone randomly drugs you with crystal meth, I'm terrified even more of social contact.  I'm horribly lonely and have a new horrible anxiety trigger.

I still have to consider my conscience on a lot of levels. I know, more than I ever wanted to about crystal meth now, after seeing physicians, and victim advocates. Not to mention assault by crystal meth being a possible thing to occur.

I'm on Emsam (12mg/24 hr), a selegline maoi medication. It delivers through the skin, and works to destroy an enzyme that breaks down dopamine and seratonin. The evening of Saturday Febuary 2nd, given mental states as well as what the tox screen at the hospital showed. I was dosed with crystal meth. Emsam may indeed partially break down into L-methamphetamine. Crystal meth though is far more complicated, it also has signatures for Barbiturates among other things in it. It also matches up with the mental break down that occured in me. Given the medication of an MAOI it could have caused a Serotonin poisoning, hypertension great enough to give me a heart attack or brain aneurysm.

So with the breakdown of drugs inhibited in my brain, the concentration of crystal meth continued to go up. Even though I went to the hospital on Monday the 4th, the major effects didn't end until Wednesday the 6th with lingering effects still around. The mood effects and disturbances I experience place it at sometime Saturday evening at Idaho Fall's Leo's I was dosed. Via having my root beer spiked/roofied (seems to be a term that is coming into use for more than just date rape). True I was there to meet up with Eastern Idaho Furriess, EIF. Doesn't mean that anyone in the group did it, it definitely isn't a group about that sort of thing. I can't rule out anyone but statistically I think there is probably an illegal drug user in any group over a dozen.

I also have anxiety disorders that cause me panic attacks. This has turned Eastern Idaho Furries into a trigger for me, though I would be more than happy to meet anyone, outside of such a meet and remain a furry. Any post to the contrary by me did happen to be drug induced.

People on Crystal meth, do indeed go around randomly dosing people for their self-amusement. In Idaho Falls, such random druggings of people is apparently a daily occurance. It's even worse in true college towns.

I struggled with my conscience and decided I had to mention it so that no one else has it happen and because people do bring their kids. Just keep a watch on food and drink and don't assume that any Restraunt is a 100% safe place. As to even leaving the group. I'm not comfortable that it was decided such an event can't even be mentioned publically as a warning that people should watch out. I did poorly word it and would have re-worded it or left it otherwise, though it was fully deleted. I made a post here because I'm still struggling with what I should do morally, and I believe I need to state this to live with myself.

Sidenote: I left Eastern Idaho Furries because due to the unfortunate event it is now a panic attack anxiety trigger for me. That is the primary reason and is more than sufficient to have caused me to do so. The way it's treated upsets me and is contributory.

Leaving me a crisis of conscience, that I post this up. It is still a complicated issue that leaves me uncertain what can ever really be done. Either way I still have to do this for myself based on personal beliefs. Even if I wind up ostracized by some in the future.

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