Tsunari (tsunarikitsune) wrote,

Next post up.

Alright, I guess I'll go into being commited to mental health against my will for 3 days, due to drug interaction of meth and maoi, which shouldn't have happened because i needed to be in the damn hospital being observed.

   First up some people have said I made that up not here just in real life to make trouble for them and doubt it happened, yes from the East Idaho Furries.

   Roofied on the evening of the second as the MAOI kept all the drug concentrating in the brain, things just kept getting worse for me mentally.  So on Monday afternoon the fourth I wound up calling someone in a panic, mental health professional just talked to the secretary who called 911.  I got a trip to the hospital, as they talked about eliminating medical causes for the problems which they didn't because they didn't bother to ask about my medications, (Yes, meth + MAOI is a medical issue not a mental one, one that requires watching both brain and heart for potential brain aneurysm or heart attack, as well as flushing out my body since I wasn't doing it myself).  Anyways, after that I went to trying to figure  out anything I did that could have caused it.  Two deep worries set in that pretty much were a panic attack.  I have a friend who i've talked to online for years dieing of a brain tumor, so i went to what if it's that.  The second one was, I had a sinus infection four years ago and a rather corrupt ENT used scare tactics and tried to pressure for same day surgery of this will soon break through into your brain and cause spinal menegitis, i wound up having surgery by him a week later.  So I was panicing that I'd ignored the symptoms of a sinus infection occuring again because they matched what my  symptoms were then.  So I said I was worried I had an infection that could have eaten through the bone to the brain.  (Yes it can, an abcessed tooth can eat through the surrounding bone slowly, it's not instant of course).  And felt a sinus infection, aka sinus pressure and headaches, they took that as a symptom of hallucination and was of the factors in commiting me.  As it turns out I do have a sinus infection.  Not to mention Capener is a horrible doctor and my Septum is so deviated that it has sealed the nasal entrance to my right sinus.  Since, I wasn't in my right head the first day and hadn't had anything to drink the previous.  I hunger and water striked.  Meth dries out the sinuses, I dehydrated myself so my sinus issues accelerated and are growing worse by the day now rather than by the month.



In Nevada red flags were set off that he was commiting fraud.   He was performing more surgeries in total and per day than any other ENT.  He was also performing all the surgeries faster than anyone else, so much so that several of the experts felt it was implausibly fast and thus he didn't perform them.  So he was acquited of fraud.  Doesn't mean that he is capable enough to do things that fast without causing his patients lots of trouble.  A lot of people in the area wind up having to have surgeries a few years after he performs one on them.  But I'll get to that in a bit, back to the suckyness of being commited.

First of all I believe all incarceration, jail and mental involuntary commital to be immoral, it goes against all of my religious and spiritual believes, so I felt hyper violated by that.  They rotate the on duty techs and nurses daily so it's a different one each day there luckily.   The first nurse didn't treat me like a patient, she behaved more like I was a drug addict that belonged in a prison cell awaiting trial.  Since I was already paranoid due to the drug assault on me from the drug itself (I wasn't aware meth was in my system until tuesday), that just made things worse.  This wasn't what I was thinking at the time, it's the way it comes across upon self  reflection on what happened in there, no one else gave me that sense.  No one did a medication history on me so they weren't aware of the MAOI and thus started the search for why i was so suicidal.  So they kept asking about past abuse, aka the thing that gave me PTSD and turned me into a social hermit for years.  yes I was sexually, emotionally, and physically abused by my boyfriend, no asking me about it every half hour when I haven't had flashbacks in a couple years is not helpful.  Yes, I am having flashbacks again now.  Ok, since it was involuntary, the first guy Designated examiner wasn't certain why I was involuntarily committed and thought I shouldn't have been.  The second senior one was more conservative, he would only release me to a family member, forcing my mother to fly from Virginia to Idaho.  If that had failed, I would have spent last week still there seeing a lawyer preparing a case on why I didn't need to be committed and wasn't a danger to myself to be presented to a judge.  Being out of there that first night i was truly happy, I was free.  (here's a little secret about me, if I am ever put in prison I hope I would have the strength to kill myself.  Not of suicide but because I loathe that kind of thing so much).

So now I have to suffer flash backs again, been retraumatized, had one of my greatest fears become a reality and terrify me even more.  Not to mention one of the reasons I got put in there, actually happens to exist though it's not in danger of getting to my brain any time soon.  Though given the nature of sinus pressure and pain increasing daily it does put major surgery to correct what some other surgeon did on the list of things to do in the next 2 to 3 weeks.  I don't recall them ever asking what medication I was on and i remember most of that day. I was emotionally off not other things.  They could have but I think it most likely didn't happen.  Reminds me for Austerity reasons lots of towns and cities have police and emts running 36 hour shifts.

Ok, so I got to see my current ENT this week, he noted the utter septum deviation and that i have a huge hole in my septum that is much larger than the first time i saw him.  He ordered a CT scan, normal, I didn't mention everything to him, didn't have time for it.  Also can't do it at the hospital in Idaho Falls, because I don't want that kind of headache, aka the ENT who did the surgery also does some emergency work at EIRMC in addition to his regular practice.  So I need the scan to be done outside of Idaho Falls.  Not to mention some of the things the ENT who has messed up on a lot of people will only appear on a sinus CT with contrast, or a sinus MRI with contrast and it's impossible to know which one, so I'm pushing to get both done.  I don't want a major surgery there and have something missed that was done incorrectly and be forced to have another major surgery a year later.

So in summary for this month, I've been assaulted by illegal drug, commited involuntarily, been retraumatized by that restarting PTSD flashbacks, and have major sinus issues that reqiures surgery.  So I really feel like i've been raped by multiple people this month, even though some of it occured years ago.

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