Tsunari (tsunarikitsune) wrote,

Still in hell

(Please excuse gramatical and spelling errors, i'm under such stress i'm making them left and right on any form)

So did I mention I had been abused badly by my boyfriend 7 years ago, emotionally/physically/sexually.  After being forcibly commited and made to talk about it, i know suffer flash backs again, something i haven't had in years.  So last night talking to my mom, she said things like I shouldn't be feeling bad because i'm just giving these people power over me, I exploded with rage, and destroyed a wall.  The holes in that wall are a flashback trigger so i can't even stay in my own house right now.  So have to get it repaired as fast as possible, if it isn't done today i'll spend the weekend in a hotel.  I don't have the money to do this, but if i don't i'll wind up commited again and even more traumatized.  Not to mention my mom feels so guilty about making me feel worse she isn't doing well making me feel guilty and worse.

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